Monday, January 11, 2010

Dry on Cracked Cisterns

It's official I've entered the "dry season", which always seems to follow the Christmas and New Year festivities. This year however, seems dryer then ever. And the Spirit within me has been warning me of this for weeks, months even. It's what happens when you slowly let little injustices harpoon you. You get tired of empathy and begin to think and see every situation through your own unfortunate eyes. You begin to think too highly of yourself and just keep running on your past wise decisions and disciplines. I now find myself on the other side. Empty, dry, because I've forsaken "the fountain of living water and have dug for myself cracked cisterns that can hold no water at all" (Jeremiah 2:13)
The irony of it all is that I just finished a teaching a series on falling in love with Jesus: loving the things he loves. Getting back to the foundation of being a follower of Jesus. Actually falling deeper in love with him. I want to be falling in love with Jesus in a deeper way, but lately I've just been too tired, too undisciplined, too compromising.

Here begins a plea for things to change.

Today I ask God "make me want you, make me passionate for you again, I don't know how to regain my desire for you, but I know it's the source of my confusion, lack of motivation and underlying heart which has grown cynical and disillusioned"

A return to discipline, a return to my first love
5 chapters on week days
Honest conversations with God daily
A commitment to write 2-3 times a week on opposite days to Julie

No comments: