A couple nights ago I couldn't fall asleep, my mind kept trying to figure out if I kept up this pace of approximately 14 chapters per day, what would be the outcome after 40 days. So I got up, grabbed my Bible and I discovered I'd make it to mid-psalms. After realizing this, I felt a bit discouraged and went back to bed.
Today, like yesterday I spent a good portion of time preparing for my accredidation interview. I ended up reading scripture from Genesis, Exodus, Romans, Ephesians, Philippians, Revelation, John and Luke and Corinthians. I was all over the map, finding answers to big words like "santification", "transfiguration", "incarnation" etc. Once after I preached a sermon someone said to me "I really appreciate your style, you don't use big words that confuse use, you speak in our language" and I responded "I don't use big words because I don't know any", and I was serious. Anyways that's besides the point. After lunch I picked up where I left off on Numbers and I spoke with God and it was good, really good. But before I journal some of those thoughts let me return to the principle of my opening story.
I'm not persuing God when I'm counting the pages I've read, when I'm checking the clock, when I'm registering for Google Analytics and checking to see if anyone has actually read what I've written. God brought this to my attention quite clearly. See I'm goal oriented, and it feels good to see a goal being accomplished, it also feels good to be valued, I build confidence in myself by what I accomplish. In my past I've implemented many different visions for ministries and God has by his grace blessed them, but when I think about those things that I've done, (notice how I said I've done), my thinking is all messed up. I've commited to persuing God, not myself. But oh how Satan likes to try and convince us of our brilliance, which eventually makes us think we don't need to persue God, were doing fine on our own. Just the opposite of the way of Jesus, that way of humility and self surrender and dependancy. Satan didn't trick me this time, bring it on loser. (just thought I'd get that out) .
Numbers 6 - Has God called me to live out a modern day Nazirite vow?
A Nazirite was the name given to someone who dedicated themselves to the Lord, making a vow for a period of time to be holy. They didn't drink any alcohol or vinegar. They didn't cut their hair, they didn't go near dead bodies, everything was hightend, and at the end of the period they would present an abundance of costly offerings, including all their hair. I kinda feel like I've taken a modern day Nazirite vow. I haven't cut my hair in 3 months (not intentionally, but maybe I shouldn't for a bit longer, ahh Julie might not like this idea), I don't drink alcohol (but that's another conversation), I've stayed clear of dead people, and who know's what God will call me to offer him as I near the end of this 40 day persuance.
Numbers 8 - The setting apart of the Levites
I just have one thing to say about verse 7 "the have them shave their whole bodies". Ahh what kind of razors did they use back then? Too bad nair wasn't invented, or even mach three or at least even sensor excel.. yikes.
The best part of my time with God today came in prayer. I was sitting comfortably on the couch praying and my words starting to get meaningless, I was starting to fall asleep, instead of stopping my prayer, I got down on my knees in a very uncomfortable position, but I wasn't sleepy anymore, and my prayers became more focused and I heard God's voice. Yesterday while waiting on my back porch I was looking at the peeling paint and thought to myself I should paint this for my landlord as a surprise to bless him. Since I live above State Farm Insurance I couldn't just paint his porch without telling him, it's a daily business. My landlord just happened to walk out and we ended up chatting and he brought up how this deck was bothering him. I jumped in and said I'd paint it for him, he offered me money but I said don't worry about it, he said no way your doing it for free. My landlord's are both living at a hotel for 3 months because their house has severe water damage, I've had many conversations with the husband about God and religion. I really wanted to bless them, to show them Jesus in some way before Julie and I left in July. The husband this morning said I'll pay you $125 (and I could use the money) so I said yes, but during my prayer today God challenged me, he revealed a way that I could bless them. With the money they give me I could get them a resturant gift card or something for their house, or even I could give all the money back and in a note tell them God wanted you to know he loves you, he just used me to show you.
I'm excited, I love painting...
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