On the weekend julie asked me "are you nervous, anxious, or excited about starting your new job" I answered with the pastored up answer "I know this is God's place for me, and I know God will come through, I'm ready, I'm clam".
Truth is I'm not really feeling "excitement" for July 3rd, my first day of work. I'm am feeling excitement for this image in my head of youth asking questions about Jesus, and youth wanting to pray all night, and youth wanting to be Jesus to their friends. But Truth is this excitment also leaves me nervous about failing, about failing my wife, my family, my friends, the church, the congregants, the youth, and God. Truth is I'm anxious, as much as I'd like July 3rd to come, part of me is also okay right were I am. I'm in safe zone, everyone's expectations are still in tact, I don't have to do anything, I can't fail yet because I haven't arrived. But with each day the pressure is mounting.
To quell my nervous heart God keeps saying. "Take hold of that Spiritual gift of Faith that I've given you, it's yours for a reason. Remember I took Israel out of Egypt (like I'm taking you out of Ajax) and as Moses stood by the Red Sea (and as your standing looking at a large seemingly impossible challenge), as their enemies came roaring after them, (as the task at hand seems messy and insurmountable) I told Moses and I'm telling you "Be still and know, I will fight for you; you need only be still" Exodus 14:4
So today after spending too much time writing out "Summer Vision Goals" I felt God saying
"just be still and know"
"I will fight for you"
"I will establish my name"
"Just fully trust in me"
"the best thing you can do is run to me daily"
"your job is to model to the youth depedence on me"
"be still in my promises, in my presence, be still"
"THE TRUTH IS... I will deliver"
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