One Thing I've Learned This Year - Hero's Let You Down

I had experienced this before, but this time it was different, he was different. Last weekend I took a group of students and leaders to our yearly student conference. This year the headlining band was Relient K. My all time favourite band, basically Matt Thiessen. For approximately a decade Relient K has been the sole musical influence in my life. I didn't listen to music aside from what I wrote unless it was Relient K. The layered and creative lyrics regulatory lead me into worship. Thiessen has been a spiritual hero in my life, even to the point that I suggested naming one of our children after him. Prior to Friday's concert I had been to 3 other Relient K concerts. The music wasn't much different, songs still sounded the same, but the Spirit was missing. All of a sudden songs were just songs and words were just words and Thiessen was just another musician trying to remain relevant in culture and make a living. I stood about 10 feet from him and simply began to pray. My heart hurt for him, a fallen hero. A man whose words used to cover me with the presence of Jesus, not left me only with a man. His old songs reminded me of the man who once was so close to the vine, Jesus was dripping off of the lyrics. His new music so full of the world and a fallen man trying to make it without Jesus. His last song such a clear statement of were Jesus is at "Through the miles of open road, I lost sight of what might have mattered the most, I hope I haven't heard the last words of the Holy Ghost". All this to say it was a strange experience, my hero fallen. Recently I've been reading through the story of David. David had become a spiritual hero. David had lived as the second man, letting God lead his life enabling him to do incredible things, things only God could do through him. This led to incredible worldly success. He was king, he had anything he wanted, and he was a hero to all. In 2 Samuel 10 David under the leadership of God leads the Israelites to one of their greatest victories as they defeat 7000 charioteers and 40,000 foot soldiers of the Ammonites. The next chapter David takes Uriah's wife Bathsheba and then had Uriah murdered. David quickly becomes a fallen hero. David says no to the Sprit's filter on his life. The last 5 years I've witnessed this moment too often in my hero's. The moment the success gets to them, the moment they choose not to filter all that they do through God, choosing instead to let themselves led and be seen in their actions more then Christ. In the book "Love Wins" Rob Bell broke my heart, this was a radically different piece of work then all of his prior. He was my hero, read everything he wrote, attended his conferences, listened to his sermons. But something broke and the pages begun to read with the words of Rob Bell, not the words of Jesus through Bell. And yet I love King David, I love Matt Theissen and Rob Bell. David when confronted chooses to put God back in charge of His life, although he dealt with the consequences, David was known as a man after "God's own heart". In the end David loved God more then himself. For now Theissen and Bell aren't there yet. I don't know their hurts, their stories, but I know just like in the days of King David's youth when the Spirit was upon him and his life made a hero out of God, that these men's lives were used to make a hero out of God and currently that is not the case. The lesson here for me is this. May I choose to let God lead my life continuing to seek to be like Jesus who "considered himself nothing taking the very nature of a servant". When I fail, may I embrace my sinfulness, seek forgiveness and recover my life with Christ, so that even in my failure God is seen as hero. May I be careful of those that I claim as spiritual hero's always seeking for the true hero behind the hero. May I be full of grace, praying that God will again use the incredible gifts and abilities of those he has entrusted.